Breathing is a Continuous Process

And you were banging you head against the wall. You tried to hide but there were no hide-outs left for you. You ran as fast as you could, but you were only a child to face the truth standing like a silent wall. Behind the wall, you know you heard the story before; there is a green lawn with a dinner table at the center. There was a party going on when all men and women died in a wink without uttering a single word. The mysterious undistorted corpses on chairs have been left like that since then. No one was survived to move the bodies inside.
You shouted. You started to scream and run around. But every direction you go the wall comes in front you. You banged your head against the wall. You ran. You changed direction. You ran again….and again…and again. Every time it was wall to find you and stop you. You banged your head against the wall, harder and again. You kept on banging but one can’t just die like that.


Now you started thinking, where were you, inside the wall or outside??


I remember Bergman saying,

"If you have a faith, if you've some deep conviction, whether you're a Nazi or a Communist or what the hell else you are — then you can sacrifice yourself and others to your faith. But from the moment you've no faith — from that moment you live in a deep inner confusion — from then on you are exposed to what Strindberg calls 'the powers'."


--- Anamitra Roy